Surviving 11 years

It was another day driving in Regina, while I drive down a street I hardly go down anymore, and took a glimpse at the school I went to in grade 8. I never realized before driving by, however, this time seemed different.

Remembering the time when I was 14, vulnerable, and being cyber bullied for the first time, as Facebook just became a huge thing. I couldn’t take the misery anymore, as it had been months of the torture. I went to my locker, and took more than 8 – 10 varies of pills to kill myself.

When I got back to my fathers house, I began crying, and fell over from being dizzy. My stepmother called my mother while she was at work, explaining what I was trying to do to myself. Somehow she got me to stomach out the pills, and told my mother I was okay.

Realizing the day I drove past the school, it was 11 years ago I tried to take my life for the first time, and at the age of 14. Had the thought of “what if I really did it?” Now, writing this, it’s hard some days to get up in the mornings, however, I’ve survived more than once.

It’s not our fault we cannot adjust to society that is before us, it’s up to ourselves to strive past the differences amongst those who disagree with who you are.

Sacred Ground

Hoste Acreage

Hoste Acreage

Benson Elevator

“The Hamlet of Benson” the towns way to call it, was discovered in 1893 by the first homesteads, then in 1909 the R.M was established.

When the Canadian Railway was being built in 1911, it went through the lands of Benson and after being finished in 1913. There was a chunk of land left, and one of the homesteads built an acreage

My great grandfather Camiel Hoste met his wife Anna Boey in the small town, they moved onto the acreage, and raised their 8 children. The Hoste’s bought the acreage in 1951 and till this day, it is still our family acreage.

This place has a connection to history, the lands, and family. Every time I visit Benson, I always make a trip to see the house that still stands there. Even though, the floors are clasping, and the walls rotting. It somehow has this drawn of desire to it, and the energies here are enlightening.

Hibernation season

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

As the seasons change, leaves start to fall to ground. At first, they are still the colours of summer. The weather begins to get colder, leaves start to turn brown and grass follows.

I’ve always wondered why there are so many lady bugs in the leaves and how come they seem as if they are dead?

Growing up, you were told to rake the leaves into a pile, and to put the leaves into a orange bag with a pumpkin face on it for Halloween coming up. If it the holiday was not coming up on the calendar, did not celebrate it, or it had passed. The leaves were thrown into a black bag and taken to the Regina dump. I would see ladybugs in the leaves, couldn’t understand why, and tried to get as many ladybugs I could get out of the pile.

I found out from a friend, ladybugs hibernate when the weather cools down, then begin to search for a warm and dry place to sleep over the winter. Their type of hibernation is to have the presence of being unconscious. Discovering this information triggered a “I must help these lady bugs!” Now, I had to really save them by creating a ladybugs oasis in my friends front yard by the tree stump she had (which there were a ton of ladybugs getting settled to hibernate there). 10 minutes went by, sitting on the ground, and looking around myself, ladybugs were coming to me. Realistically, people walking by probably thought I was a nut case, however, It felt empowering to be apart of an extraordinary opportunity like this.

Ruffing Good Times

In Regina, its amazing to be able to take your dog(s) to the off-leash parks they have around the city. Living in the Cathedral area gives Loki and I the opportunity to walk to the Cathy Lauritsen Memorial Off-Leash Dog Park, and a much easier distance for transportation.

Loki is a bit terrified of other animals, he is a rescue, and getting him at 9 months or any age of animals coming from traumatizing situations, is very hard for them to adapt to life. The fact I am able to take him to an off-leash park, not having him jump onto me to be picked up, and work on his progress. Instead of us hanging around all the dogs, it helps Loki ease into the new surroundings, and this time we headed towards the bridge.

I forgot there was a bridge built there and the creek water flows underneath it. Then behind me was a beautiful lady bug resting on a plant and always will capture the moment of meeting new creatures. While taking the snap shot of the ladybug, I heard a thump, and then a huge SPLASH! Look to my left and out jumping from the creek was Loki! Safe to say he was all good and invented a new body spray called “creek.”

Sometimes we tend to forget when we’re so caught up in the rush of life and never try to slow down to see what is right in front us.

In all the chaos and hurry, do not forget to notice the beauty and miracle of this world. Slow down. Notice. Observe. Be aware. Allow presence and awe to come back into your life.

Brendon Burchard

Monkey in the Tree

Every time I board on my cruiser or walk through the academic green area, I’ve never thought once to climb one of the trees. During my environmental education class, we were to go outside in pairs/groups, read off cue cards, and try to do what they say. We decided to sit under a tree and look around at what we may have not seen before. In some way I felt it would be more of an opportunity to climb the tree, as I loved to do as a child and teenager. Never realizing how simple it is to grasp your hands on a tree, pull yourself to begin climbing, and find a comfy spot to see a different point of view.

In life we seem to do what everyone else is doing and not experiencing new ways of perception on our own. The world has so much to offer, however, some humans would prefer to stay in their “bubbles.” How will you be able to teach children to venture and become their true self, if ourselves cannot expand the imagination within us.

The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.

Emily Dickinson